Amazing stories!

Lately I have really been concentrating on "slowing down!" This has really been an invigorating process for me and I am LOVING it! So, with slowing down also comes "listening" more! Yep, it's almost analagous to stopping to smell the roses...I have been stopping to listen to my boys and try to figure out truly what they are saying!

I had a meeting yesterday morning with my "SPD mom's support group" (that's another fascinating story in and of itself!) and when I returned home I noticed that there were a bunch of open jelly jars in the front yard. Trying to keep myself from immediately getting angry with the boys, I "slowed down" and started investigating and asking questions. What I discovered is that I have a very smart and intelligent Carson!

"Where did you get the jars of jelly?"

"In the pantry?"

"Oh, can you show me where?"

"Sure...let's go mom!" (as we are walking to the pantry)

"OH NO, did you open all of mommy's jars of jelly?" (these had been all handmade by either my mom or other friends and family...not something mommy likes to see wasted...ARGH!)

"YEP!"

"Why?"

"'cause the bees like them!"

...hmmm, thinking to myself, he's onto something..."You are right Carson! Why do the bees like them?"

"'cause they like jelly!"

"You are one smart cookie, Carson!"

...smile on Carson's face that also includes the sparkle in his eyes! (which I just love, BTW!)

"You know Carson, when you come into mommy's pantry, I don't mind if you want something, but mommy expects for you to ask before you take something?"

"OK mom!"

SCORE...mommy didn't get angry and I think Carson actually learned something (as well as mommy! Gotta love those moments!

ANOTHER STORY:
Carson starts talking about some sort of flagpole. I have no idea what he is referring to. Well, come to find out, daddy gave the boys a super long piece of wood that they could use to to put in the ground in the front yard..."a flagpole!"

"Carson, what are you looking for?"

"A shovel?"

"What for?"

"To put my flagpole in the ground"

"Cool! What is a flagpole for?"

"Well, mom...when you put the flagpole in the ground, it tells you which way the wind is blowing!"

"Oh Really?" (with my mouth dropped to the floor! I had no idea he even knew that!) "You are one smart boy Carson!"

...again, big huge smile on Carson's face, a sparkle in his eyes and a proud stance (standing tall and shoulders/head held high!)

Just amazing...really amazing!

ANOTHER STORY
So, we have really been working on teaching Carson how to regulate his own body! This comes more easily to typically developing kidos, but for Carson, an SPD kido, this is very very very difficult. He can be easily pushed over the edge and COMPLETELY lose it! When he does this, his body and mind is in no frame of mind to be learning! All he needs to do at this time is to get his body under control. For Carson, this involves being in his room...ALL BY HIMSELF! Once he gets himself together (which can easily take 15-20 minutes, sometimes longer), then he is in a state of mind for the learning to begin.

So, yesterday he had an episode when "he lost it"...off we go to Carson's room! After he settled down, I went into his room and was surprised as to what I found! He had used his time very constructively...I mean this literally! He had taken his mattress from his bed and moved it, bent it, put blankets all over it and down the side...and made himself a tent! WOW, Carson! What Carson was doing was "regulating his body!" He was doing "heavy work" by lifting and moving his mattress...and he was finding a safe space that made his body feel better! This is very common for Carson! He has been known to sleep in boxes and in many other "tight quarters!" This is sensory integration at it's highest form! Tight spaces and heavy proprioceptive work is what makes Carson's body "feel" better! Good for you, Carson!

While I was also in Carson's room, I noticed that he also had calming music playing in him music player. He has a couple of CDs that he knows how to interchange. He had chosen the CD that was calming to him! Yet again, another sensory integration strategy for Carson! Calming music does wonders! Have you ever tried it when you are all worked up? I have, and I love it also! I keep a couple of calming music CDs in the car for those "I've lost it" situations. Carson has been in the middle of a complete meltdown in his carseat (throwing things, yelling, screaming, hands/arms flailing, etc.,) and I have quickly turned on calming music (without saying anything to him). His response is immediate! He stops his fit and starts listening! It is playing very softly and he wants MORE! "More calming music," he says! EXCELLENT! He is again learning to regulate his body...AGAIN!

I digress...so easily! So, back to Carson's room...I am now able to talk with him about the situation that made him "lose it!" (can't even remember what it was!) In the past when I want to talk to Carson, he is wiggling all over, does the "limp noodle" body routine, won't look me in the eyes, etc., Is he really listening? I don't think so...his body isn't completely regulated. So, this time...I added some body regulation to our conversation! Carson really likes the "head down position!" He can literally put himself into a headstand! Again...body regulation! He "needs" this vestibular input in order to help him regulate his body! So, I had one of those "AHA moments" and thought "hmmm...I need to talk to Carson right now. I wonder what would happen if I put a pillow up against the wall and have Carson go into a headstand while I talk to him?" Guess what? IT WORKED! We were actually able to have an intelligent conversation about the situation. Carson even gave me alternatives that he could use the next time when that situation comes about again! Isn't that just fascinating? Again...sensory integration at it's best!

ANOTHER STORY



I have also been working on making our home routines easier. I have discovered over time that Carson responds best by using the clock to set our routines. We put velcro pictures in different spots around the clock and this tells Carson when he is supposed to do something (he watches the big hand of the clock). It is AMAZING to see how this works so well for him. We set the routine for that hour together. When the big hand gets to the picture, it's time to do that activity. I have been religiously using this process...and the results are AMAZING! Without the clock, Carson completely melts down with EVERY transition between activities. With the clock, Carson knows what is expected and he EASILY transitions between activities! He has even had to stop watching a Curious George episode right in the middle 'cause that's what the clock says and he DOES NOT MELT DOWN! Amazing, huh? You see, SPD kidos NEED routine! As a matter of fact, not only do they NEED routine...they THRIVE with routine! This routine provides Carson with the necessary structure to THRIVE! Gotta love that!

ONE LAST STORY
This one happened just as I was trying to type this blog entry! I had to put Carson in his room...yet again! When I went back to his room, he had opened his window (which has NO screen on it...who knows what Carson has done with it!) He apparently got out the window and "gathered a few supplies" for his time in his room! He found a couple pvc pipes and connectors from one of daddy's "uncleaned up" projects and was making......get this.....a telescope! Yep, a telescope! He told me that you use this part to look out of and this part is what you see out of...straight from the little boy's mouth! Check out the picture! I have one amazing boy, huh?



I feel that I already have my hands full (too full, actually) right now! I can only imagine what life is going to be like during Carson's teenage years! I can just see it now...the fire department and 911 will become very familiar with the George Family! We will surely be on their frequent flier list! Can anyone say, "This is totally Kelly's little boy?...he's got Kelly written ALL OVER HIM!" I love you Carson...and daddy too!

What have YOU done today to learn more about your child? I hope these stories help to inspire you to take your relationship with your child to the next level! They can honestly be our BEST teachers!

Have a fabulous weekend! I plan on it...off to finish our flagpole!

Random Thoughts

My 10 minute brain dump. Here it goes:

- I have racing thoughts in my head....all the time.

- It is hard for me to sit still because I always feel that "I have something to do"

- I have to make lists...all the time. As a matter of fact, I have to have my list with me everywhere I go or I start to panic that I'm not going to remember that that thought in my head...needs to go on my list. My list allows me to get it out of my head and it helps me remember and organize, on paper, what my head cannot do on it's own.

- I have anxiety. I never knew that what I was feeling was anxiety until I was told by a medical professional. How come I didn't know that? I'm a smart cookie and I didn't even pick that up about myself.

- My mind can be my best ally and my worst enemy.

- I have to limit my coffee intake because too much caffeine makes me shake...internally and externally. Why don't you give it up then, some might say? 'Cause I love it...I love to drink my coffee and hold the warm cup in my hands and sip the warm yummy foam on top. I love the smell of coffee in the morning as it waits for me. It is my treat to enjoy...when the world is still asleep...and I am awake.

- Sometimes I have a hard time sleeping because my mind is racing 100 miles an hour. I have a very hard time "shutting my mind off." Journaling and blogging does help me do what I call a "mind dump" 'cause if I can get it out of my head, then it can stay out of my head.

- I am a type A personality...anal to the end! The best kind of person to by a pharmacist, really...and at one point in my life, I was a pediatric pharmacist...the epitome of all anality!

- I love my family. I really do! I love to see my boys laugh and smile. I love when they look at me and say "mommy, I love you!" I love when they want snuggles and "just want to be with me!" I get that! I love that...and I crave that! As long as I can slow myself down enough to enjoy that.

- I have to teach myself and my boys coping techniques to deal with anxiety.
* Take a deep breath
* Listen to quiet, soft music
* Slow down
* Hold an ice cube in your hands...really tight! Try it! It hurts, but it does really work!

Wow...I did it in 10 minutes! Now on with my day! Hope you have a good one 'cause I plan on having an excellent one!

If I coulda, woulda, shoulda...

I've given myself 20 minutes right now to try to completely DUMP my thoughts, so here goes:

As many of you can tell by reading my blog, I have been going thru a lot of self evaluation in the past month. What makes me happy, what makes me sad, what makes me anxious? If I was given the opportunity to change my life right here and now, what kind of changes would I make?

1) I would QUIT my job! Not out of unhappiness in my job, but because I would rather be spending my day with my boys and doing my other full time job, of which my primary responsibilities include "Home Management and Case Management for two boys with special needs!" I can just see it now...business cards will be arriving soon!

I've already proven to myself that I CANNOT do that job AND work 30 hours a week...just can't do it! Physically, my body CAN do it, but emotionally and mentally I CANNOT do it! It has completely wore me down to breaking point...(yes, I do break!...consider yourself lucky if you didn't realize that fact!) And in the last year alone, I have broke at least 3-4 times! That tells me something! It tells me that our current plan (the rat race life we are currently living) is not working...so I need to abandon ship and move onto plan B! Kelly tells me to "do whatever I want to do...WHATEVER makes me happy...he wants me to be happy!" WOW...that is really a powerful statement and I honestly believe that he means it! I think I am getting closer and closer everyday to figuring out that plan B! I am so energized and relieved that I am figuring things out! I have a renewed spirit and know that things are going to work out! This is really an exhilarating and freeing process!

2) I would completely organize my life! For me personally, organization gives me a lot of personal satisfaction! I love it when everything is in it's place and everyone knows where that place is! I would organize our day so my boys would know EXACTLY what we are doing. Some of you may be laughing as you are reading this, but those that truly know me know that THIS IS ME!...and it WILL happen!

3) I would be happy and as a result, my kids and my husband would be happy! Don't we all know that "when momma's happy, everyone's happy" and likewise, "when momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" Even Logan (my 2 year old) has that figured out! He is constantly asking, "Mommy, happy?"

4) I would have dinner at our dining room table (rather than at our kitchen counter like we currently do)! And we would sit around the dining room table and talk about our day...and we would all ENJOY talking about our day with each other!

5) I would read the boys "chapter books" just because I want to spend time with them and be next to them...and they would enjoy and listen to my reading!

6) I would put together picture schedules for EVERYTHING...and I mean EVERYTHING! (and I would share them with my sister, 'cause I know she could use them too!) These picture schedules would help the boys know how to do certain processes that we do every day including:
- Morning Routine (already done)
- Daytime Routine
- Evening Routine
- Meal/snack time- wash hands, eat food, put dishes in dishwasher, wash hands & face
- Mealtime rules
- Brush teeth- pick toothpaste, put toothpaste on toothbrush, brush teeth, spit, rinse toothbrush, drink water, wipe mouth
- Going Potty- Pull pants down, sit on toilet, go potty, wipe bottom, pull up pants, flush toilet, wash hands
- Going out into public rules- Make good choices, which are using walking feet, gentle touches, quiet voices and listening ears.
- House Rules (havent' formalized them yet)
- believe me, there WILL be more!

7) I would wake up BEFORE the boys, get myself dressed and ready for the day....then sneak down the hall to the kitchen and make myself a yummy latte, basque in the beauty of the quiet and peaceful morning... and do what "I want to do for 45 minutes!

8) I would enjoy reading for pleasure...and my mind would NOT wander!

9) I would enjoy "being there" for my boys...sick, well, happy or sad!

10) I would slow down enough to "teach" my boys the process of how to do things rather than rushing to do them all myself. As a dear friend of mine always says, "You know, we are not raising boys here...we are raising future MEN! We need to be raising the kind of man that would make us happy to have in our lives. I want their wives to be able to come to me later and say "Thank you for giving me such a wonderful husband!"

Well...I think that's about it for now! Oh darn it...20 minutes was up quite a long time ago! Oh well...this was nice to get out of my head and onto paper (OK...well, onto the internet). Since I have recently started blogging and journaling, I am really, truly enjoying this! I so need to get it all out...and I may as well share it with you! Maybe someone out there can benefit from my thoughts and I can save them from going through what I went through...before I surrendered! Thank you Kelly for supporting me through this process...I love you dearly!

Take care all!

Conversations with a 4 year old

A conversation with Carson this evening goes like this:

"Carson, I'd like you to take a bath or a shower tonight."

"OK, mom!" "I have a bath at my work. It has a shower bath."

"Oh really? Who works at your work?"

"Charly, Tommy, Frankie and Carson!" (his imaginary friends)

"What do you do at work?"

"I play games and I build stuff...I build bird houses! I WANNA build bird houses!"

"So, tell me more about work."

"I take a shower at work...and play...and play with toys at work."

"Do you get paid to work?"

"Uh., uhh, uhh, no. I go to the store sometime. I buy bananas, 'cause I love bananas. I go there after I go night night...to buy my bananas."

"Why do you do that?"

"'Cause I want to. We do that cause we want to."

"When we run out of bananas, we run out of bananas, then we go to the store. We buy ones with no dots and yes dots on them. Yep, I buy those ones."

"Which ones are your favorite?"

"Ones with dots. Charly, Tommy and Frankie like no dots on their bananas. I like the dots."

"Hey, carson...thanks for telling me about work."

"You're welcome"


Another conversation (just mere moments from previous one):

scene: Carson runs to the bathroom and he's sitting on the toilet as I am cleaning up the dinner dishes.

"Mom, come look at my poopoo."

"No carson, i don't want to look at your poop!"

"Come on mom, you gotta see it."

"Why do I have to see it?"

"'Cause it's black and white"

"Oh really? OK....I'm on my way."

"Mom, hurry..."

"Yep, you are right Carson...it's black and white."

"Why?"

"Sometimes our poopoo doesn't always look the same. It's ok."

"OK mom."

I walk away...

"Hugs and kisses, mom!"

"OK"...walk back. "Hugs and kisses"

"I love you, mommy!" (big hug and kiss)

How's that for an evening full of conversation? Sometimes you have to take it how you get it.

Vacation Day #4

Oh, this morning was the roughest morning of all! Both boys were bouncing off the walls...and they were driving mom and dad completely nuts! How are kids so easily able to just "push those buttons" that really just irritate the crap out of you? Well...Carson and Logan have perfected it to the tee! They are so good at it that even mom and dad are irritated with each other and everyone around them! Apparently, it's the kids who are in charge and have mom and dad wrapped around THEIR fingers...'cause believe me, this morning, these boys were running the show!

I was trying to fix the boys some pancakes for breakfast, and they were irritating me so bad that I had to go put MYSELF in time out! "Dad, I'm going outside for a breath of fresh air!" I just had to go re-group and "get MY body together" (what I am forever telling the boys to do). You see the thing with this cabin was there was NO place to go to get any sort of privacy. And...that's OK for a cabin, but thank god we have some private, quiet places in our own home!

OK...mom has re-grouped. Let's get these boys some food! OK...we're all doing a little better. Get mom some coffee and some pancakes and I'm ready to go!

The whole time we were on vacation, we did NOT have the boys wear their SPIO suits. I'm not sure why, really. We just didn't. They were outside in their skivvies in and out of the water. They were in a more relaxed environment with less expectations put on them. Maybe we thought that they could just handle things better while on vacation, I don't know. Well, guess what? We were wrong!

After breakfast that morning, I pulled out the SPIO suits and emphatically told both boys to put on their "super suits" (as we call them)! Whine, whine, etc., I didn't care, this was our only hope for saving our day! We put the suits on the boys, then made a b-line for outside. Daddy, we're going to the park...let's go. SPIO suits and the park...is there any better combination for proprioceptive input than that?

For those of you who are not familiar with SPIO suits, check out the section off to the right of this post under "Want to learn about SPD" and look at the two SPIO links to learn more. Also, below are a couple of photos of the boys wearing their SPIO suits...they look like a couple of 007 agents, huh?




The suits and the park really made all the difference! Things slowly looked up from our horrific morning. By the next day, Carson in particular, was a different kid. His ENTIRE demeanor changed...just like we changed a lightbulb (not as quickly), but he was comparable to two complete opposite people...Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

These suits help provide "input" to their bodies...which send messages to their brains that help them organize their brains. Without SPIO, they have a hard time accepting all of the input in their life (expectations of parents, daycare, how to act, what to do with your body, how to filter noise, how to listen, how to focus, how to speak, how to be socially appropriate, etc., etc., etc.,) and having their brains organize/file/sort the information in such a way that they function appropriately. Without SPIO, they can appear as "out of control" boys...the boys that need "better parenting" or boys with ADHD. When you get down to the crux of the matter, that's not it at all. SPD is the issue. I could ramble and ramble forever, but I would hope that you've gotten a glimpse of my message by now. Again, check out the links under "Want to learn more about SPD" to learn more.

So...I digress! Once we got back from the park, we had a lot of fun! The boys caught more fish, Kelly took the boys for kayak rides and Carson actually learned to navigate a kayak BY HIMSELF!





Carson has amazing balance! Once he got a hang of the kayak, he was all over that lake! Dad would periodically have to go after him to re-direct him toward our dock, but all in all...Carson did AWESOME! Never once did his kayak tip or even come close to tipping. IMPRESSIVE for a 4 year old!


Now, Logan's balance is a completely separate issue! As you can tell from previous blog entries...Logan is lacking in the "balance category" as is seen by his many pummels off the dock! Despite that, Logan still had a great time as well. He also has a knack for falling asleep on kayak rides (yep...take a look at that photo one more time!)

Carson caught another fish and he helped Kelly take it off the line to toss back into the lake....the fish didn't survive the trauma! However, Carson found himself a new friend! Yep...the dead fish! He was quite content playing with that dead fish for a while....talking with it ("hello there fishy"), making it do what he wanted, etc., LOVELY!


As the boys napped, Kelly and I packed up the cabin and the van...when the boys woke up we headed back home!...back to our reality! Vacation was fun while it lasted!

It's good to be back home!

Vacation Day #3

Today was such a change from yesterday! Logan didn't wake up until 5:30am (is that considered sleeping in?) and we cuddled in bed for a while. It didn't take long before I heard pitter-patter down the stairs...and Carson appeared in the bedroom...also looking for morning cuddles!

It was clearly evident that Logan was for sure sick! He had the snotty nose and a bit of a cough, a temperature...and the good 'ole grouchies! Today was clearly "all about Logan!" He kept saying, "cuddles, mommy!" from the time he woke up until the time he went to bed.

We decided to send the boys upstairs this morning to start the day off with a video and some cereal for breakfast! Nothing like slowly starting your day! It was pretty overcast and windy outside this morning, so the boys wouldn't want to go out in it for a while. Logan was coming down the stairs when he lost his footing and BAM!...down he came...BONKED his chin on the banister rails! Scream, scream, cry, cry! Mommy to the rescue! He was crying so hard he couldn't even catch his breath! We had been pretty strict with not letting him go up and down those stairs, but sure enough, Logan has to fall down them! Carson also comes running down the stairs and looked at Logan saying, "That's what happens, Logan!" Mommy counters with "Carson, leave Logan alone right now!" Mom and Logan spent the next hour cuddling on the couch...he didn't want to leave my side! Again, not feeling good!




Carson was getting a bit frustrated with being indoors a lot this morning. It was obvious that Logan and I were going nowhere today, so daddy took Carson to the downtown park! They ended up being buds for most of the day...playing, getting their hair cut, going out to lunch and buying a new ball and movie (Horton Hears a Who!....very cute movie)! Since mom was home with Logan all day, he quickly becomes the star of the blog today, complete with grouchy pictures and all!

Most of the morning, he was either asleep in my arms or asleep on the couch...poor guy, isn't it illegal or something to be sick on vacation? It took until about 10:30am for Logan to even want to go outside...and even then it was with a whine, "cold, mommy, cold!" So, I finally convinced him to put on some clothes, a jacket and socks & shoes and we ventured outside onto the porch! He would periodically have a happy moment (and mommy would of course snap a picture!) and then quickly more tears...and lots of sleep!

Carson and Daddy came home and they fished for a while, then it was nap time for both boys!

After nap time, Daddy took Logan for a kayak ride and then followed it with more mommy cuddles!




The boys wanted popcorn and a movie for dinner (hey, just trying to keep everyone happy on vacation!) and before long it was time for bed! All in all...a relaxing day for all!

Vacation Day #2

The day started off early, as usual. Logan woke up at 5am (his usual home wakeup time) and we cuddled together for a while. We then made a "pillow mountain" in the bed and propped ourselves up so we could read and look through magazines together. (Daddy and Carson were still asleep upstairs and I was trying to maintain that as long as possible.) Logan thought that was cool and he also enjoyed hangin' with mom in the bedroom (not something we usually do at home).

Since the cabin is very open and small, if anyone is awake, all are awake! It didn't take long before Carson and daddy joined us in the excitement of "being up at 5am on a vacation morning!" (Can you feel my excitement?) At least if they are up, I can make my latte (impossible to do an still have folks sleeping)...so that was a plus! The boys were kind of playing with some toys, etc., and Kelly and I were playing on our computers/reading books. Carson asked if he could watch a video and we both said no...we were just enjoying the quiet time. It didn't take long for the cabin to become "out of control!" Neither Carson or Logan are happy...and mommy and daddy aren't too happy either. Before long, Carson got himself so worked up over who knows what that we had to put him in the car (strapped into his car seat)! Lovely!....great vacation memories, huh?

You see, when we are at home and Carson gets like this, he honestly just needs to get his body under control. Mom and Dad cannot do that for him...he has to do it by himself. At home, we would have put Carson in his room (with the door locked!) so he can focus on just getting himself together (instead of focusing on getting out of his room or getting our attention or proving that he was right or etc., etc.,). It will generally take Carson 15-20 minutes to get "his body under control," and then we can rationally have a conversation about what to do next. Sounds really bad, but that's how Carson operates! The cabin doesn't allow us the luxury of having a room to lock him in. There is one bedroom and we were scared that he might actually destroy something in it if we left him in there. OK...so plan B...as you can tell, was the car! Again, sounds bad, but that's how Carson operates.

We all have to learn to regulate our own bodies. For Carson, this is especially difficult! For a typically developing (TD) child, they are able to process their external stimuli (sounds, smells, information, rules, care giver expectations, etc.,) much more efficiently. Sure, even TD children need timeouts (breaks from what is going on around them), but they are much more able to change their focus and figure things out. For children with SPD, we have to figure out what our children are saying (not with words, but by reading their behavior and body language) to figure out what their bodies need at that time.

I digress...so once we made it through breakfast and a quick trip to Walmart to buy Carson a different fishing pole and mommy a pair of "I'm getting fat jeans", we were back on the lake enjoying the sun again!

I seemed like a very long day 'cause it wasn't too much fun listening to Carson and Logan do a lot of whining...but as I type this blog, it seems like a very short day 'cause I don't have much more to say! Other than I completely enjoyed the time when the boys were napping...not because they were asleep, but because I had a lot of fun being by myself, reworking this blog and reading...doing my own thing while listening to my pandora.com music and soaking up the sun!

It was quite obvious when it was time for bedtime at the end of the night. We did let the boys watch "Monsters Inc" before bedtime (probably not a great movie choice, in retrospect), but mom and dad were pooped and we needed some quiet time! Ahhh...the silence! It is truly golden!

Hope tomorrow is a better day!

Vacation Day #1

So, we planned on going down to Missy & Dave's cabin for the Memorial Day Weekend (Thanks for sharing Dave & Missy!). Kelly and I both took off Friday from work. The boys were very, very excited to go on vacation since they knew that involved playing in the water and also fishing! How can you not be excited about that? We had originally planned on leaving Thursday after I got off work. However, because the WHOLE week had not gone as planned, I got NO packing and preparations done for leaving that quickly! And, after the hellish day I had on Thursday, I sure was in no condition to frantically pack for vacation. Does anyone see the irony in that statement?

I told Kelly that I just didn't want to rush. Vacation is vacation and the cabin would still be there WHEN (and IF) we got there! I am not rushing...GOT IT! So, we packed a bit on Thursday night and then did some more packing on Friday.

The boys were still feeling a bit under the weather and were super, super whiny...of course, all they wanted to do was "go on 'cation!" None of this packing stuff...let's just go! Logan kept saying all week (with his arms spread out wide), "I'm gonna catch a HUGE fish!"

Kelly would ask me to do something and I was till working on something else. Big breath, sigh...we can do this! I could tell that Kelly was getting a bit on the frustrated side (with me, with the boys, who knows what else!), the boys were still whining and my anxiety level was climbing by the minute! Again...big breath! After a couple of hours of packing, we were finally on the road (by 8:30am, I might add)! Let's get in the car and go on vacation!!!

Carson was content in the back with his movie and headphones (thank god for technology) and it didn't take long before Logan was fast asleep. Kelly and I discussed our sleeping arrangements for the cabin. We decided to have daddy and Carson sleep upstairs and have mommy and Logan sleep together downstairs in the bedroom. So much for sleeping with my hubby, huh? Oh, the things we do to maintain peace for the family....

We made excellent time to Shelton, so we decided to stop at good 'ole Walmart to pick up a few odds n' ends to complete our weekend (no cabin vacation is complete unless we have a variety of Drumstick Ice Cream Treats and since Kelly and I have a fettish for coconut creme lattes, we had to pick up some coconut creme creamer as well...gotta make all vacation participants happy). As we approach the car to load our purchases in it, Kelly uses the remote for the van and opens the very back van door (not a good idea if you have vacation randomly packed in it) and my new $--- (not gonna tell you how much) espresso maker comes tumbling out of the van, bouncing a couple times on the asphalt! My mouth drops open, Kelly has this look of horror on his face as her continues to say "I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid!" I just watched in amazement and didn't say a word (aren't you proud of me)! I just had a feeling that Starbucks made their espresso makers to withstand some abuse, so I just kept my fingers crossed until we could check it out at the cabin.

Back in the car we go to drive to the cabin (a mere minutes away at this point). Kelly and I started reviewing the cabin rules with the boys. Carson is good at remembering these:

1) No going past the rocks in the yard without FIRST putting on your life jacket!
(If the boys continue going past the rocks, then next comes the beach, docks and the lake...yikes, really a scary thought for our very impulsive, can't think past our nose, excited about 'cation kinda boys!)

2) If you go past the rocks with no life jacket, then you lose water privileges for the ENTIRE day! (Believe me, the boys know we are serious 'cause Carson lost his privileges for the ENTIRE day when we came to the cabin the last time!)

Those are pretty much our only two rules! Wanted to keep them to a minimum to emphasize the important ones...water safety (and believe me, with our boys around water, we really have to focus on safety!).

By the time we got to the cabin and unloaded the van (yes, the boys even helped...they were anxiously trying to locate the life jackets), it didn't take long before we were all down on the dock (after we, of course, verified that the espresso maker still worked)! The boys completely striped down and just wore their life jackets and water shoes (Can you tell I tried to keep packing simple? No need packing bathing suits and water pullups...who needs those?...we're in the wilderness for goodness sake!). They were in complete heaven...water, sunshine and fishing...what more could a little boy want?

The sun was shining and it was wonderful sitting on the dock soaking up the afternoon sun! WOW...maybe it was a bit possible for me to RELAX on this vacation!

My three boys were fishing as I laid back in my lawn chair, reading my book. It wasn't too long before Kelly had a fish on his line. "Carson, come reel this one in!" Off runs Carson to pull in the big one! Logan also wants a front seat view of the adventure, so he tries to get a bit closer to the action. Just as Carson pulled the fist fish up onto the dock....SPLASH....Logan falls into the lake! Yep, falls into the lake! It was actually a bit comical to be honest with you. We were all trying to cheer Carson on with the first fish and at the same time, daddy is on his hands and knees trying to pull Logan out of the water (he's gasping for air 'cause the lake is pretty cold...and he's not quite sure what just happened)! I grabbed our pile of towels and am trying to dry off Logan (thank god for the life jacket!) and I'm also cheering Carson as well. Got the camera out and shot a couple of pictures of the big 'ole fish...oh yah, also trying to calm and dry Logan...I'm telling you, fun times here on 'cation!





After that fiasco, we decided we should probably get off the dock for a bit and maybe go for a walk to the park! We had a wonderful time swinging and running thru the forest (playing tag with Carson) and before long it was time to head back to the cabin for naps. Carson became very distraught when we said we were headed back to the house. After figuring out what the fit was over, we discovered that he thought we were going "home" and he wanted to go "on vacation" (what he called the cabin)! OK...so he was a bit confused, but his heart was in the right place! No, no...we won't be going back home for a couple of days...no worries Carson!




Time for naps (mom included)...YEAH!!

After naps, the afternoon continued along with us all having a lot of fun, enjoying our time together. The boys were out on the dock fishing again and I was trying to unload the lawn chairs from their winter hideaway when all of a sudden I hear another "SPLASH" and then crying! Yep, you guessed it, Logan went into the lake AGAIN! Yikes...that boy has NO balance! Good thing the cabin has a washer and dryer 'cause mom didn't pack enough clothes for this kind of water activity!

After a late dinner and more fishing...it was soon time for our evening to come to an end! Off to bed the boys went while mom and dad enjoyed the peacefulness of the cabin...doing our own thing!

Day From Hell

On Wednesday, I pushed Carson to go to daycare, even though I knew he wasn't fully feeling better. He whined from the time he got up until I dropped him off at daycare. Sometimes when you are sick, you just need to be pushed in order to "snap out of it" and that was what I was hoping. I warned both daycare and preschool that this might be a tough day and if they felt Carson was too sick to be there, to give me a call.

However, the guilt always hits me pretty hard when I push and I don't know if it's the right thing to do. Was he crying because he truly wasn't feeling well or was he crying because he just spent the last 4 days at home with mommy...and that was pretty cool???

Anyhow...off we go to daycare and off mommy goes to work. I am just in tears as I am talking to mom on the phone! Am I doing the right thing? It's Wednesday, which is Kelly's absolute worst day of the week to take off from work, should we get the "sick call" from daycare. So, once again, I go to work...not knowing if I'm going to "get that call." I really am a total mess and I don't feel like I am able to "be there" for my boys when they need me.

I worked the whole day and I wasn't about going to call and check on Carson...I just didn't want to hear about it! No call all day! Hmmm...maybe he is feeling better! So, I walk into the house after work and there is Carson and daddy sitting in the rocker...Carson looks like hell warmed over!

"Hmmm...I guess Carson didn't do so good today. What did daycare say, daddy?"

"Nothing"

... Lovely, so now I don't even know if he had a good day or a bad day?

"What are we going to do about tomorrow? I am supposed to work."

"Oh, Carson will be OK for daycare," says Dad.

As the evening progresses, Carson is not doing so well. He has fallen asleep on the rocker by 6:45pm.

"Daddy, what part of this picture makes you think Carson is OK for daycare?"

"Oh, I didn't think he was THAT sick."

I start making phone calls to arrange for childcare...Carson is not going to daycare tomorrow. Everyone I call isn't able to help. So, I call Homewatch Caregivers, this is a backup childcare agency, that I have previously researched to watch the boys when they are too sick to be at daycare...and I have to work. Yep, they can help me. Great! I have a plan!

By Thursday morning I discover that not only is Carson sick, Logan is sick as well. Great! At least I have childcare arranged...everything will work out just fine! Carson is sick and all he really needs is for someone to change the TV channels for him...not too difficult! Logan just needs someone to cuddle with him and periodically feed him!

8am rolls around and Sandra shows up to watch the boys. She is a 40 year old, obese, not well-kept looking woman. Doesn't look like the brightest chicken in the barn, but at least I can make it to work.

She walks into our house and walks down the hallway and there is a step down into the family room. She obviously did not see this step, as she steps down, twists her ankle and her body falls into a clumpy ball on my family room floor. I have NEVER felt the need to tell someone that there is a step there, but apparently that was expected of me this time. She begins to moan and groan and I ask her if she is OK. She said that she hurt her ankle and that she needs to sit there for a moment. It quickly becomes apparent that she is not moving anywhere, anytime soon....and she is WAY TOO LARGE for me to assist moving her. I proceed to get her into a comfy position, elevate and ice her ankle. I then had to call her employer and figure out what we were going to do. So much for making it to work on time. The agency is going to try to get another gal to come over ASAP.

Sandra and I decide that it's best if we call 911 to get an ambulance to take her to the ER. There is no way that she can even stand on the foot, so you can bet she won't be driving. Before long, the fire dept and then the ambulance arrives.

Lovely!...not how I pictured the day to be progressing.

When one of the fire fighters was leaving the house, he noticed our swings in the playroom and said, "Oh, that's a cool idea!" He said, "my son has some sensory issues and he would really like something like this.

"Sensory issues, huh? So do my boys. So, what's up with your son?"

"Oh, he's on the autistic spectrum and he gets OT, etc., He just loves swinging."

So, I ended up handing him a SPIO brochure/business card along with my name/contact info. I really do hope they contact me...I just love connecting with other families with special needs. (If you would like to learn more about SPIO, check out the links section off to the right).

9:30am rolls around and no replacement has shown up. I make another call to find out when she might be arriving. Doorbell rings and Karin is here! I hand her the phone, introduce her to the boys, give her my written instructions and I am on the way out the door. I will call you on my way to work. Believe it or not, I only arrived 2 hours late to work!

I am completely frazzled and very frustrated. I just feel like the harder I try, the more I attract disaster! ARGH!!! I really just feel like I HAVE got to slow down. I need to be there for my boys and my family...and for my sanity! Even when I show up to work, my mind is totally distracted...not a good thing.

I am off to work! While I drive to work, I call a friend. Thank god for friends who answer the phone! I just needed to talk to her. She always has a way of making me "put things in perspective."

I finally arrive at work and they are totally dead! You've got to be kidding me! I ended up chatting with a supervisor and we all decided for me just to go home. I've got "bigger fish to fry at home than to stay at work if you don't need me!" WHAT A DAY!

By the time I got home, I was TOTALLY EXHAUSTED! This day really took a mental strain on me for sure. Logan ran to me to get a hug and we went to lay down for our nap. I have got to shut off my brain and rest! Make this day from hell come to an end...please!

Carson Stories

Story number 1:
Above is Carson making "juice," as he calls it. Look at the poor guy's eyes...can you tell we are home sick on this day? He got a bit of energy to play and he wanted to play with mommy's blender. He wanted to use my chopper, so I got out some almonds for him to chop. Next was saltine crackers. Next was water. Sure, I say to all of it...nothing wrong with some good imaginative play, huh? Next he wants to add ice. Next he wants to turn on the blender...OK, I'll help with that one. "Strawberry juice," he says! Wow Carson...that looks so yummy! Would you like your juice to have a color (as I pull out the food coloring)? Sure, mom! OK, which color? Green, he says. Blend it again. By now, Logan has wondered into the kitchen to see what brother is up to. Carson asks Logan if he would like to drink some of his "strawberry juice." Logan of course says "yes" to any question related to food or drink. So, brother proceeds to pour juice for all of us! Carson was sooo excited about this juice and he really wanted us all to try it. Logan takes a big, huge gulp...really expecting an appetizing, strawberry juice! Now comes the distorted face! Carson says, "Yummy Logan?" Logan looks up at me and then looks at brother (still with this distorted look on his face), "Yep, yummy brother" as he hand me his glass and walks away! Carson now says that he wants to save the juice for daddy when he comes home from work. No problem, I say! Boy, daddy is going to be so thankful that you made him some juice! Way to go buddy! Look of content and excitement on Carson's face!


Story Number 2:
Because of our appt with Dr. Glass last week and his opinion of implementing a strict daily routine in our home, he suggested "getting rid of tv time". This had been a source of frustration and manipulation in our lives and if the tv suddenly "quit working", it wouldn't be forcing our parental will on Carson...the tv was just broken... period!

So, I began implementing that plan on Friday night. I actually was enjoying it. It allowed us to have more "family time", reading books, cuddling, etc., periods of "real connection." When I put Carson to bed on Saturday evening, he was really having a hard time cause he wasn't able to watch Curious George (which we usually do right before going to bed). As he's sitting in bed, he looks at me and says, "can't we get Curious George on the internet, mom? And Home Depot has tvs mom, can't we go buy another one tomorrow??"

WOW...that is one smart cookie! I just looked at Carson and gave him a big hug and kiss and put him to bed. My heart was being torn! Poor guy...just wants his Curious George....like I was taking his green wankie (Carson's verbal version of BLANKIE) away from him! We continued the "no tv" plan on Sunday until I discovered how sick Carson was...temp of 104.5, bright red and hot cheeks, lethargic, wheezing, croupy-type cough at night, etc., He had already been diagnosed with an ear infection on Thursday and was put on Amoxicillin. Of course when you are sick, all you want (and need) to do is lay on the couch and watch tv. So, I got out Carson's computer (my old computer) and rigged it so he could watch a movie that afternoon. He was much more content...just lying there. Daddy had been gone on a fishing trip that weekend and he was due to come back that night. I didn't want to spoil the fact (right in front of Carson) that all we had to do was plug the tv into the powerstrip. So, I told Carson that daddy could work on fixing the tv when he got home. Anyhow, Sunday night was a rough night for Carson and myself. Poor guy was so sick that I slept in his room just to make sure he was going to be ok.

Carson and I were awake off and on Sunday night...rocking him in the family room rocker...when I figured out that we were going to be awake for a while, I grabbed the remote and flipped on the tv. I looked at him and said that daddy was able to fix the tv! Poor sick Carson perked right up. He was so excited and jumped out of my arms, ran over to the couch and said "Curious George, please". It was 1am and I was letting Carson watch Curious George! That was one happy (and still very sick) little boy. We ended up staying up until 3-3:30am and Carson finally looked at me and said "mom, I gotta go to bed." I eventually was able to fall back asleep for a couple of hours and we all, thankfully slept in a bit. Needless to say, the boys stayed home with mommy that day!


Story Number 3:
We are having a very difficult time getting Carson to take his "pink pills", as Carson calls them. Our conversation goes something like this:

"I don't like them, mommy"

"I'm sorry you don't like them, but the doctor says you have to take them. This is not something you have a choice about."

Cry, cry...sniffle, sniffle...body shake on the floor! "I don't want to take my medicine, poopoo head!"

Lovely, now we have resorted to name calling...

I said, "you do have a choice about how you take your medicine. Would you like them with marshmallows (how we take our other medicines) or would you like me to make it into a liquid?"

Again..."I don't want my medicine!"

sigh, sigh

"OK, Carson...I am putting your medicine picture here (on the clock...giving Carson 5 minutes). It is your choice, Carson. You can either chose to take your medicine by yourself or mommy will sit on you and make you take your medicine!"

Time goes by and Carson doesn't move.

I stand up and bring Carson to the family room floor. Carson is screaming, "Don't sit on me, mom!" I squirt the syringe of medication into his mouth and he spits it right back at me!

Lovely...now half of the medicine is on the floor! Just lovely...

Here I am, mom...sitting on my child and he still doesn't take his medicine? Are you kidding me? Argh...BIG SIGH! Time to re-group! Plan defaulted until later in the day...

I call the pediatrician and say that I'm not having much luck with a twice a day medication. Since he's spiking temps up to 104.5, should we move to plan B? And, might I suggest that plan B include a once a day medication....as short of a course as possible? OK...this mom's serious! And, thankfully our pediatrician complies! Boy is it good to have clout in the medical profession! At least I can get my way with someone, huh?

Fastforward to this evening. I decide to delegate the medication administration responsibility to Kelly...he can deal with this for a while!

Carson is still not feeling well. I tried sending him to daycare today. I needed to follow through with what he was told...daycare today! He cried ALL MORNING LONG! Is he still not feeling good or is he manipulating me? He was home with me for 4 days...who wouldn't want to do that? I needed to push him today to see if he could break out of being sick! Guess what? Lost that one too! He did survive (somehow) the entire day at daycare, but guess who's now asleep in the family room...looking like a sick, lethargic kiddo from some horror flick?

Poor guy, you still aren't feeling better? He still needs to take his antibiotic tonight. Daddy reminds Carson that in 5 minutes he will need to take his medicine.

"I don't want my medicine."

"I'm sorry, it's not a choice."

cry, cry, scream, scream..."I'm angry! I need to calm myself down"

Good to express what you are feeling....and double wow for noticing that you need to calm yourself down! That's the first time he has ever said that! We say it to him all the time! OK...we're moving in the right direction here.

"Dad," I say, "Carson does have a choice how he takes his medicine...their are other routes that work!"

Hmmmm, daddy says, "you mean PR?"

Yep, Carson can take his medicine by himself or daddy can give it to him in his bottom (PR stands for per rectum, in latin).

Carson says, "I don't want it in my bottom! Put it in YOUR bottom"

Lovely...now mom has to hide her face 'cause she is laughing! Daddy sees mommy laughing and now he starts to laugh. ARGH...still no medicine being taken here!

Another 5 minutes go by.

Daddy walks over to Carson and proceeds to put him on the ground! No, no daddy! Daddy sits Carson upright and we finally coax him into taking his medicine!

Boy, I am pooped! Taking medicine has been a big ordeal in our house the last several days! Hope your family is safe and healthy...and not needing any "pink pills"! Hoping mine will be soon...we have a vacation to go on on Friday!

Kari :)

Morning Routine

I have been trying to brainstorm ways to make our routines more user friendly and useful. So, today I spent a bit of time this evening finalizing our morning routine into a chart format. It has all the tasks that need to be completed every morning before we run out the door to work/daycare/whatever. Dr. Glass even recommended that we do the same routine even on the weekends. That would provide consistency all across the board. So, being my anal, detailed oriented self...a chart was right up my alley! Along with help from a friend (thanks Hartley!) and Publisher software (way cool...this was my first time using it...Thanks Missy!), I came up with the following chart:


I'm pretty proud of it so I just had to share!

Now that one mission is accomplished, I'm off to bed! I'm one pooped mommy!

Switching Gears

This morning I have so many things running thru my mind. I am really trying to focus on doing more things that I truly enjoy. These include blogging, writing in my personal journal, digital scrapbooking (my newest, latest obsession) and sewing! Suddenly when the boys came along, these things quickly started dwindling away...out of my life! I have discovered that I cannot let my life be run by everyday things (work, the boys' needs, laundry, grocery shopping, etc.,). So, I have a new plan! I am trying to take time twice a day to do something I want to do! So, right now I am drinking my cup of coffee and blogging in COMPLETE silence! Oh how I cherish these moments! I am much more a morning person than a late night person!

So, just a little update with Carson. We had a yearly followup appointment with Dr. Stephen Glass, pediatric neurologist, this week. We talked a lot about Carson's difficult behavior and what we can do about it. Carson has been taking Topamax to help him stabilize his mood (so he doesn't have such drastic peaks and valleys), so we decided to tweek that a bit, adding a dose after lunch. This unfortunately means that I need to include daycare in my medication dosing plan...not something I try to do because I know they have their hands full! Have you ever tried to get a school to give your child a medication? You should see the documentation they need...more hoops to jump thru...I completely understand, but it's just one more thing on my never ending "to do list". I digress...anyhow, one thing that Dr. Glass highly recommended for our family was a very rigid routine. Deep down I knew this and I have been trying to do this, however, this truly reinforced to us how important it is. I really don't want to live my life via a rigid routine, (and to be quite honest, it totally overwhelms me), but if it helps our family have a bit more peace and happiness, it will all be worth it.

I am going to take the boys to the Point Defiance Zoo today. Daddy is out of town, so we need a fun activity to occupy our time...and to enjoy the wonderful weather anticipated for today.

Oh...I hear Carson running down the hallway! Time to start our morning routine! (which is a bit easier to do now that I have had a few minutes to myself and have enjoyed my cup of coffee...gotta love those espresso makers!)

Have a great day!

Gotta love that boy!

For Mother's Day, my wonderful hubby felt that I needed to spend the weekend AWAY from the house! What? Away from the boys on Mother's Day? OK...well it had been a particularly rough week for me and down deep I knew he was right (darn it...why do you have to admit it when the men in your life are right?). So, he arranged for me to spend the weekend with his sister, Melissa! She did a very superb job of whining and dining me...wonderful food, an intense listening ear, a hug now and then, a massage at a Russian spa, a wonderful view of Lake Washington, and most of all...some peace and quiet! Thanks Missy...you are the best!

So on Monday morning following Mother's Day, Carson wakes up at 5:15am anxious to hear that mom is awake! He peaks quietly out his door to see if it was OK to come out of his room so early. I could see that he was wanting to come check on me, so I open his door for him. He welcomes me with a big hug..."MOM! I missed you," he says! "Can I show you someting"? Sure, I say. So, he takes me by the hand and guides me to the front door. Surprised that we were going outside at 5 in the morning, I just watch and wait to see what he wants to show me. After the door is open, he stands there with a wonderful smile on his face and says "See mom! I cleaned the porch for you!...All by myself!" "WOW," I said, as I sloshed onto the wet mat sitting in front of the door. "It looks so nice! Thank you for doing that for mommy!" Carson said "I even used soap, mom!" "Really?" I said. "Boy...you did something very special for mommy, thank you so much for your wonderful help!" He looks up at me and says "I love you mommy!" "I love you too, Carson!"

Sometimes it is these simple, sincere and very precious moments that holds me thru the tough times! I don't want to ever forget them! Sometimes it seems they are few and far between!

I've got to remember to also post a story about Carson's comment while visiting my sister in McMinnville...this is my reminder!