Day From Hell

On Wednesday, I pushed Carson to go to daycare, even though I knew he wasn't fully feeling better. He whined from the time he got up until I dropped him off at daycare. Sometimes when you are sick, you just need to be pushed in order to "snap out of it" and that was what I was hoping. I warned both daycare and preschool that this might be a tough day and if they felt Carson was too sick to be there, to give me a call.

However, the guilt always hits me pretty hard when I push and I don't know if it's the right thing to do. Was he crying because he truly wasn't feeling well or was he crying because he just spent the last 4 days at home with mommy...and that was pretty cool???

Anyhow...off we go to daycare and off mommy goes to work. I am just in tears as I am talking to mom on the phone! Am I doing the right thing? It's Wednesday, which is Kelly's absolute worst day of the week to take off from work, should we get the "sick call" from daycare. So, once again, I go to work...not knowing if I'm going to "get that call." I really am a total mess and I don't feel like I am able to "be there" for my boys when they need me.

I worked the whole day and I wasn't about going to call and check on Carson...I just didn't want to hear about it! No call all day! Hmmm...maybe he is feeling better! So, I walk into the house after work and there is Carson and daddy sitting in the rocker...Carson looks like hell warmed over!

"Hmmm...I guess Carson didn't do so good today. What did daycare say, daddy?"

"Nothing"

... Lovely, so now I don't even know if he had a good day or a bad day?

"What are we going to do about tomorrow? I am supposed to work."

"Oh, Carson will be OK for daycare," says Dad.

As the evening progresses, Carson is not doing so well. He has fallen asleep on the rocker by 6:45pm.

"Daddy, what part of this picture makes you think Carson is OK for daycare?"

"Oh, I didn't think he was THAT sick."

I start making phone calls to arrange for childcare...Carson is not going to daycare tomorrow. Everyone I call isn't able to help. So, I call Homewatch Caregivers, this is a backup childcare agency, that I have previously researched to watch the boys when they are too sick to be at daycare...and I have to work. Yep, they can help me. Great! I have a plan!

By Thursday morning I discover that not only is Carson sick, Logan is sick as well. Great! At least I have childcare arranged...everything will work out just fine! Carson is sick and all he really needs is for someone to change the TV channels for him...not too difficult! Logan just needs someone to cuddle with him and periodically feed him!

8am rolls around and Sandra shows up to watch the boys. She is a 40 year old, obese, not well-kept looking woman. Doesn't look like the brightest chicken in the barn, but at least I can make it to work.

She walks into our house and walks down the hallway and there is a step down into the family room. She obviously did not see this step, as she steps down, twists her ankle and her body falls into a clumpy ball on my family room floor. I have NEVER felt the need to tell someone that there is a step there, but apparently that was expected of me this time. She begins to moan and groan and I ask her if she is OK. She said that she hurt her ankle and that she needs to sit there for a moment. It quickly becomes apparent that she is not moving anywhere, anytime soon....and she is WAY TOO LARGE for me to assist moving her. I proceed to get her into a comfy position, elevate and ice her ankle. I then had to call her employer and figure out what we were going to do. So much for making it to work on time. The agency is going to try to get another gal to come over ASAP.

Sandra and I decide that it's best if we call 911 to get an ambulance to take her to the ER. There is no way that she can even stand on the foot, so you can bet she won't be driving. Before long, the fire dept and then the ambulance arrives.

Lovely!...not how I pictured the day to be progressing.

When one of the fire fighters was leaving the house, he noticed our swings in the playroom and said, "Oh, that's a cool idea!" He said, "my son has some sensory issues and he would really like something like this.

"Sensory issues, huh? So do my boys. So, what's up with your son?"

"Oh, he's on the autistic spectrum and he gets OT, etc., He just loves swinging."

So, I ended up handing him a SPIO brochure/business card along with my name/contact info. I really do hope they contact me...I just love connecting with other families with special needs. (If you would like to learn more about SPIO, check out the links section off to the right).

9:30am rolls around and no replacement has shown up. I make another call to find out when she might be arriving. Doorbell rings and Karin is here! I hand her the phone, introduce her to the boys, give her my written instructions and I am on the way out the door. I will call you on my way to work. Believe it or not, I only arrived 2 hours late to work!

I am completely frazzled and very frustrated. I just feel like the harder I try, the more I attract disaster! ARGH!!! I really just feel like I HAVE got to slow down. I need to be there for my boys and my family...and for my sanity! Even when I show up to work, my mind is totally distracted...not a good thing.

I am off to work! While I drive to work, I call a friend. Thank god for friends who answer the phone! I just needed to talk to her. She always has a way of making me "put things in perspective."

I finally arrive at work and they are totally dead! You've got to be kidding me! I ended up chatting with a supervisor and we all decided for me just to go home. I've got "bigger fish to fry at home than to stay at work if you don't need me!" WHAT A DAY!

By the time I got home, I was TOTALLY EXHAUSTED! This day really took a mental strain on me for sure. Logan ran to me to get a hug and we went to lay down for our nap. I have got to shut off my brain and rest! Make this day from hell come to an end...please!